Attitude of Gratitude

With Thanksgiving upon us tomorrow, I cannot help but reflect on the many blessings in my life! As I journey through life, my focus is usually on the future... what do I need to do to improve (fill in the blank), how do I get better at (fill in the blank), etc. In order to pursue our personal best however, we must occassionally look backwards and recognize what we are trying to improve upon. Never underestimate your potential for growth and never devalue the progress you have made.

When we think of the things we are grateful for, we automatically put ourselves in a positive state of mind. Whe we think positively and with optimism we are able to tap into our creativity, which will bring new ideas on how to improve and achieve a personal best.

So, let this Thanksgiving be an opportunity to grow by showing gratitude. As I progress through the next year, I am going to work on develop a consistent attitude of gratitude and can't wait to see the growth that results. Just remember that you don't have to be great to get started, but you have to start to become great!

Attitude Determines Altitude

Many times in life it is our attitude that determines the outcome. Henry Ford is quoted as having said, "If you think you can, or you think you can't... You are right!" 

When I was going through Chiropractic School I had an experience that I will share. I had finished my 2nd year and was getting ready to enter my clininical internship which would run for the next 2 years.  We found out that my wife, who had been working while I was in school, was pregnant with our first child.  With all the excitement that comes with the prospects of becoming a father, I was a little nervous because I knew that when the baby was born, my wife would be home taking care her.  That meant no income!  Sensing my responsibility to provide for the family I was concerned with the timing... I still had at least 2 years before I could begin my Chiropractic practice.

It was the beginning of Summer Quarter and I had about 7 or 8 months to work with.  I took a look at the clinical requirements that were needed and decided that I would complete the 2 years worth of work before baby was born.  I didn't know how I would accomplish the task.  Not being from the Bay Area, I didn't have any patients lined up.  There were plenty of things that could have put doubt in my mind or derailed my plans, but I simply went to work and began to care for my patients one at a time.  Before I knew it I had surpassed my goal and subsequently was able to spend more time being a Dad allowing my wife to continue working on a part-time basis until I graduated!

When I saw this movie, Facing the Giants, it reminded me of the fact that sometimes to achieve our greatness, we need to just put on blinders and go for it!  The "never quit" attitude will carry us far. Enjoy the clip below and remember to check your attitude in your pursuit of your personal best. And for the record, You can count me in too!

Forgiveness

In our pursuit of improvement and acheiving our personal best the principle of forgiveness cannot be overlooked.  One of my favorite stories, that illustrates the various facets associated with forgiveness, is the story of Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, written by Victor Hugo.  My first introduction to this wonderful story was through the movie.  I highly recommend becoming familiar with this story through the book, opera, or video...  Warning: It will make you cry and will motivate you to excellence!
 
If one is to progress... one must become better than one was before...which requires change.  Change requires that we recognize areas for improvement and the mistakes we have made along our way.  Improvement also requires that we learn from those mistakes, rectify any wrongs, and do not repeat them again.  For this positive change to take full effect in our lives we are required to forgive.  In the book, The Miracle of Forgiveness it says, "He who will not forgive others breaks down the bridge over which he himself must travel."  Forgiving others can be difficult, but just as difficult, if not more, is the requirement to forgive ourselves. 

Another one of my favorite stories, which illustrates the spiritual changes that take effect when we practice forgiveness to its fullest is found in The Book of Alma Chapter 36  Alma shares the gamut of his feelings and records, "And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy."

Forgiveness truly is an amazing gift, that we must both give and receive, which helps us grow in our pursuit of becoming our personal best.  I know from personal experience the feeling of joy that Alma describes when a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, or the weighty thoughts have been eased from my mind.  I invite readers to feel free to share feelings and how Forgiveness has assisted in your own pursuit of personal bests.

Don't Save Anything for the Swim Back

Have you ever almost drowned?  If so, you will know what I'm writing about.  If not, just try an experiment right now...  Yes, right there in your chair is fine.  Now, Stop breathing!  As the seconds tick by you will begin to experience some physiological changes in your body and your mind will start to race.  You will become aware of your heart beating LOUDLY.  Pressure seems to build within you until you feel your head will BURST.  You need oxygen! You WANT oxygen!  You control how long you will try this experiment, so you can take a breath anytime you want, but imagine if there were an attacker trying to choke you, cutting off your air supply.  How hard would you fight back?  Is there anything you wouldn't do in your attempt to take your next breath?  I don't think so.

Now ask yourself if there anything else you are as deeply committed to obtaining as that oxygen?  Anything that you are so focused on achieving, such that nothing can get in your way?  Have you ever observed someone who is so laser focused on a goal that they don't turn to the left or right -- they just press forward, steadfast in the direction that will lead them to victory.  Because of their determination you just know they will win.  Deep down we all probably have something that drives us in this manner.  The key to achieving our personal best in all the important aspects of our lives is identifying that "something" and then harnessing the associated will power exhibited in those situations, so we can leverage it in all our endeavors.

Gattaca is a movie I like because it depicts someone with extraordinary will power.  Vincent is someone who is not expected to amount to a hill of beans because he doesn't have the "genetic" superiority that is required to be great.  He shows what happens when we dream big, setting our sights on the stars, when we work hard and never give up.

As you watch the clip below you will get a sense for Vincent's unconquerable spirit, especially as he interacts with his brother, Anton, whose genetic makeup was manipulated to produce a superior human specimen.  I love watching  the segment where it all clicks for Vincent and changes the course of everything for him.  I've had a couple of similar "break throughs" in my life where I have realized that I was not as weak as I thought.  I am in search of more of them, and also love to help others recognize the strengths within themselves.  Enjoy!

A Clean Slate

There are a few times in life when a particular event causes one to reflect inward. It could be a tragic event, such as 9/11, turning a particular age, the death of a loved one, marriage to a sweetheart, or in my most recent case, the birth of a child. My wife and I were blessed with another little girl a little over a month ago. Even though we've now been through this four other times, I had forgotten how tiny a newborn is, and how absolutely dependent they are upon their mothers.

Reflecting on my own life, and recollecting my earliest memories, I had the thought -- Knowing what you know now, would you want to do it all over again? I don't have a definite answer yet, but I'll share some of the things this question has made me think about.

First - I believe we all existed as energy forms or spirit beings before being born into this mortal life. I believe there is universal free will, or agency, which governs each of us -- even allowing us to have some level of progression and make choices during that pre-Earth life. I believe this is why we are born with different talents, personalities, etc. (I can speak from experience that each of our five children is unique... eventhough they each come from the same genetic pool). Our mortal bodies are the physical "homes" for our spirits as we continue our progression during the journey here on Earth. At death our bodies and spirits separate; the physical body is buried, but the spirit continues living. I believe there will be a resurrection, or reuniting of the spirit with a perfected body, at a future time after death and that this experience is all part of God's great plan for mankind, and part of our collective and individual progression.

Second, with the gift of free will that we all enjoy, I believe we are prone to make mistakes while we progress through our Earth life. It is through those mistakes that we learn (and hopefully don't repeat the same mistakes more that once), but it is also how we experience the opposites in Life; Joy and Sorrow, Pleasure and Pain, Happiness and Sadness. It is the gift that allows us to grow through hard work, getting smarter, and overcoming obstacles. I believe our greatest challenge comes with the required changes that are necessary when we recognize we have made mistakes. Those changes often require us to break bad habits, step out of our comfort zone or traditions that have been created, face embarassment or make restitution. If we simply step back and face our challenges and mistakes with a broader, eternal perspective and recognize that God has prepared a way for us to experience the positive effects that come from correcting our wrong choices, and make the change permanent, then we progress.

So, knowing what I know now, would I do it all over again? It depends. While this may not be the perfect analogy, I will use it anyway to explain my thoughts. When I go to an amusement park I love to ride the rollercoasters. They have lots of ups and downs, twists and turns, loops and corkscrews... just like Life. From that perspective, I guess that wouldn't mind doing it all over again -- I enjoy the experiences I have had. But, on the other hand, I often leave the rollercoaster thinking that the ride was too short. While thrilling for the moment, I recognize that all I am really doing is going in circles. From that perspective, I would not want to do it all over again -- I would be right back where I started.

So, as I look at my daughter and recognize that she has started mortal life with a clean slate, I am awestruck with the potential that lies within her. She has a spirit that is strong and willing. I assume right now her physical body is placing limitations on her ability to progress consciously - she can only express herself with being quiet or crying (not even any babbling yet). She is however, growing and developing at a rapid pace... imagine all the neuronal synapses that are forming and dying each second from the onslaught of information her neural receptors are collecting. Absolutely amazing!

I also recognize what awesome potential I have if will approach each day, hour, and minute as an opportunity to wipe my slate clean and start anew anything that I discover needs to change. As I step off the circular rollercoaster, that doesn't get me anywhere, and onto, what is referred to as the straight and narrow path (eventhough it still has Life's ups and downs; twists and turns) which has a forward direction and eternal perspective, I am pursuing excellence and perfection.

Two quotes come to mind in closing this post; Louise Heath Leber said, “There's always room for improvement, you know-it's the biggest room in the house.”

And, as the Greek Philosopher, Heraclitus, taught "The only constant is change itself!"

Extra Effort (1", 1%, or 1°) Makes all the Difference

I remember watching my Mom cook when I was younger and occasionally I would help out. I always thought it was interesting to watch the hot water on the stove in preparation to dumping in the pasta noodles. As the water would get hotter and hotter, little bubbles would form on the bottom of the pot and then they would begin to release and float upwards. This continued until more and more bubbles were release and the pot would come to a "rolling boil". This was the point that the water became hot enough to cook with.

I came across the following site www.inspireyourpeople.com a few months ago and the principle behind its message resonates very well with me, so I wanted to share.

Here are two quotes that express my thoughts related to giving the extra effort required to make change happen.

"No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required, that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction." Charles Francis Adams 1807-1886, American Statesman, Diplomat

"All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one... characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers."
Henry David Thoreau

Excellence is not achieved by just having talent and skill, but through the ability to get up one more time when we are worn out, to go the extra mile in helping a stranger, to give the extra degree of effort to finish a task ... to do whatever is hard, especially when we are ready to give up. Time to turn up the Heat!

Personal Best at League Championships

Last Saturday my 3 daughters competed in their swim team League Championships.  Each of them achieved "PBs" (Personal Best) by beating their best times of the season.  In doing so they each placed in the finals in their respective age groups (means they were one of the top 8 swimmers of the league).

Pictured to the left is my youngest daughter - the one I wrote about in my first posting 8 months ago.  What an inspiration to see her work hard and reap the rewards for doing so.  And, to see her confidence grow and see her satisfaction of knowing that she did her personal best is all that a proud father can ask.  I'll share what has impressed me the most from her results last week -- the effects from over 2 years of working with her to overcome her obstacles to her greatness.

I have attached a video of her final swim of the season in the freestyle event. She ended up placing 9th overall based on the heat finals, so she did not actually get a chance to compete in the 6 & Under Freestyle Finals.  Who knows if she could have beat her personal best again?  I believe she would have.  [She is in Lane 5, the yellow starting block in the center of the screen.  Her time was 22:27 - Sorry for the fuzzy video - just an old camera]

Here are the things that I am most impressed with about her performance:

1. She is no longer fearful of the water
2. She is confident around other children and adults
3. She picked something she wanted and kept working hard to get it (Her goal was to get a "Bag/ Towel" Time)
4. She can swim the entire 25 yrds without taking a breath (not too bad for a 6 yr old!)
5. She actually placed 3rd in the league in the Breast Stroke Finals - I'm not even writing about that.

So, enjoy the video! This is proof that personal success will be achieved when we set our mind on a goal, work hard, and never give up.  Now, go out there and get a PB!

Citius, Altius, Fortius

This is the motto from the Olympics which means "Swifter, Higher, Stronger". Think of the Olympian, who by definition is one of the world's elite athletes, arriving on the competitive stage with all the other elite athletes from other countries. The focus that each competitor must have is surely intense. What could be a better mantra to focus on than, Citius, Altius, Fortius?

As I work toward my pursuit of personal excellence, I have to constantly remind myself to avoid complacency. I think it is a natural tendency to relax our focus at times - especially right after achieving a monumental goal. It is difficult to only have a brief celebration and then engage 100% again on a new goal.

I have heard this explained as the "Thermometer Effect". Basically it is assumed that everyone has a "setting" at which they operate... just like we may set the thermometer for air conditioning or heating. As we go through our years of work, we find that we have instances where we may be above the setting, or below the setting. An example could be that in sales, we are working hard to win new business, and meet the quota, etc. We may put in extra work that results in achieving an outcome high above the goal - We may have become HOT! So, our thermostat kicks in and begins to "COOL" us down subconciously. We may find that our efforts are more relaxed and the ensuing results bring us back to the average setting at which we are comfortable.

So, how do we reset our thermostat? Using a reminder, such as "Citius, Altius, Fortius" may be the thing we need. Especially if it links us emotionally to the big hairy audacious goal we are aiming for. As I am pursuing my personal best in many aspects of my life, I am looking for those emotional anchors that will allow me to consistently attain my objectives more frequently and at a more rapid pace. Be Excellent!

"Leave it all on the court"

I heard this phrase so many times as I have played sports through the years, especially from playing highschool basketball for four years. A Coach's job is to develop each individual player to perform to his/her best and to help the team work as a cohesive group that performs at an even higher level together so they can beat all opponents. In life, we must develop that coach within ourselves.

During basketball season, our practices consisted of running drill after drill, scrimmaging, running plays, and then repeating for about 2-3 hours everyday. At the end of each practice, we would line up on the baseline and run "suicides". [This is a drill in which you run back and forth touching all the lines on the court in under 30 seconds] After several of those, the coach would pick a teammate and have them shoot a free throw while they were tired. If the shot went "in" we were done and could go shower... If the shot missed we ran more suicides. Coaches would always share analogies about our work ethic in practice and how it would relate to the game situations and real life, and I remember them saying when we were dead tired to "leave it all on the court".

We can apply this concept to our lives - work, relationships, family, volunteer work, church, etc. Last week was one of those tough weeks for me... I had so many different things to do, important presentations to prepare and deliver, something crucical for each of my clients that needed to be done NOW. As I spoke with my manager throughout the week, he realized that I was putting in the 15 -20 hours each day to get everything done. One night I woke up at 2:30am thinking about what I was going to present at noon the next day - I had not prepared the slide deck that was to be delivered because I could not decide on the right way to deliver my message. But, at 2:30am the ideas started to flow. As that happened, I lay there thinking how I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again for another hour, which would only leave another 30 mins before I was going to get up at 4am... So, I decided to start my day at 2:30am. I remember thinking that I can only do my best, and if it weren't good enough then I could be content knowing that I did everything that I could. I had laid it all on the court! I got up and went to my office and got busy -- prepared my slides and delivered my presentation to my client at noon. All went extremely well!

So, at the end of the week was I tired? Sure. The physical laws of nature and biology didn't evaporate. But, did I survive? Absolutely! And, now I am on to another week that was built upon the last. There is still a huge mountain to climb in front of me, but I know that I can conquer that mountain one step at a time. And, I know that I am not the only one who faces these types of challenges, so I hope any readers of this blog will gain the courage to keep pressing forward in their goals. Onward and upward!

Ok. Now off for a quick 5 mile run before sitting back down to do some work!

BHAGs (pronounced BEE-hag)

Do you have a Big Hairy Audacious Goal? I was introduced to this concept from my previous employer who promoted the books written by Jim Collins. Even though the book focuses on what makes companies great, I think the principles shared can be applied to the individual pursuit of personal excellence.

A BHAG is a form of vision statement "...an audacious 10-to-30-year goal to progress towards an envisioned future." "A true BHAG is clear and compelling, serves as unifying focal point of effort, and acts as a clear catalyst for team spirit. It has a clear finish line, so the organization can know when it has achieved the goal; people like to shoot for finish lines." —Collins and Porras, 1996

I am working on developing my own Big Hairy Audacious Goal which will encompass all the aspects which I am writing about in my book, but at this point I will share one stretch goal which pertains to my physical health and competitive spirit... I will compete in an IronMan Triathalon within the next 3 years. For those who may not be familiar it is a race consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike and a marathon run(26.2 miles) raced in that order and without a break.

At this point I don't know how I will accomplish the goal, I will work to find how I can fit the necessary training into my busy life. But, I know that stating a goal and working towards it is the first step. I welcome any who have met the IronMan challenge to share their experiences with me. It must be remembered that in our efforts to improve our personal best, we can gain from the experiences of others. I look forward to hearing yours.

Courage

Courage is required on the path to personal excellence. I have found a few quotes which I will share today -- they capture my thoughts quite well. I love the following quote because it states a simple truth about the greatness that lies within each of us. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])

Another quote which was given by Eleanor Roosevelt is also awesome... "You gain strength, courange and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you think you can not do." As I mentioned in one of my other postings, we learn our fears by experiences, watching others, etc. The "unlearning" of those fears occurs as we continue to act inspite of the fear. Ambrose Redmoon (don't know who he was) said, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."

The pursuit of our best will only come as we face the challenges in front of us and consistently focus on developing strengths to become great!

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FEAR - Friend or Foe? (Cont.)

When I think of the struggle in overcoming challenges in the pursuit of personal excellence, I think of the movie scene from Rocky III where Rocky is training with Apollo Creed for the big fight against Clubber Lang. Rocky has become used to living large and has lost his edge which helped him defeat his past opponents.
He doesn't really have the "Eye of the Tiger" anymore. The scene I am referring to is with Rocky and Adrianne on the beach where he admits that he is scared for the first time in his life. I think everyone can relate to Rocky's feelings. It is amazing the impact fear can have on our lives. Fear is an interesting emotion that can either spur us into action, or freeze us in our tracks. I am interested in what motivates people to turn their fear into a positive force that pushes one beyond their ordinary capacity. I made the comment last week, that fear can be unlearned... and believe that it can if the person really wants to overcome the fear. A perfect example is public speaking, which has been said to be the number one fear, even ahead of fear of death. Here are the Top 10 Fears that I have found searching this topic.
1. Fear of public speaking (Glossophobia)
2. Fear of death (Necrophobia)
3. Fear of spiders (Arachnophobia)
4. Fear of darkness (Achluophobia, Scotophobia or Myctophobia)
5. Fear of heights (Acrophobia)
6. Fear of people or social situations (Sociophobia)
7. Fear of flying (Aerophobia)
8. Fear of open spaces(Agoraphobia)
9. Fear of thunder and lightning(Brontophobia)
10. Fear of confined spaces(Claustrophobia)

When I was younger I remember thinking about how to become more outgoing. For some reason, I learned to be reserved and quiet as I gradually grew older. In the 10th grade, I observed a friend who was a year older - he was often loud and some would say obnoxious. But, to me he seemed to be happy and trying to make others happy. So, I decided that I would "be" more outgoing. I acted inspite of my fears when I was around others. I chose to put my faith and courage ahead of my fears. I continue to look inside daily and force myself outside of my comfort zone, because I know this habit will help me on my way to attaining my personal best.

FEAR - Friend or Foe?

I'm going to jump right in on this topic because I believe "Fear" is a two-edged sword. It can either help us or hurt us, AND it depends on YOU (and me) to decide which it will be. Will I allow fear to help me achieve my personal best or keep me from my greatness?

When we are born and brought into this world, there are only two things that a baby is naturally afraid of. All other fears have been learned... which means we can unlearn those fears. This is perhaps the reason why I am so interested in the things that hold us back from reaching our full potential - our Personal Best. By tapping into the mindset and experiences that engrained certain fears in the first place, and by working through the thought processes engrained in our subconscious, we can recondition our thoughts, feelings, and actions to produce different results. We can unlearn anything that holds us back!

Now, you are probably waiting for me to tell the two fears we are born with... One, is the fear of loud noises. If you clap your hands loudly by a peaceful baby, then you will see the startle reaction and recognize that you scared the baby. Two, is the fear of falling. If you hold a baby and create the sensation of free-falling, you will notice the baby immediately outstretches their arms and the face will tense up with anticipation. These are the two things we have natural fear about.

In order to acheive our personal best, we must conquer our fears. We must learn to turn weakness into strength. We'll explore this topic in greater detail and focus on the positive and negative aspects of Fear. Till then... Be awesome!

Inspiration

The concept of writing about achieving personal excellence has been in the works (in my mind) for a few years. It began to solidify a couple of years ago when I watched my youngest daughter swim the 25M Freestyle in a swim meet at 3 yrs. old. I don't think she had any fear at that point, but just wanted to copy her two older sisters -- she had no inhibitions and just enjoyed the fun in the water.

A year later, she developed a sense of social consciousness and would not swim. Even with all the encouragement and coaxing, we were not able to get her to swim. She would only stand on the platform and cry - frozen with fear. What was the difference? How could I as a parent help my daughter? I wanted her to succeed so bad - not for me, but for her! I want her to constantly improve, to be her personal best!

For much of my life I have been interested in personal improvement, eliminating fear, empowering thought processes, solving problems, and really interested in anything to do with choosing to be better and helping others in the process. With this new year, 2010, along with the prompting of my wife, I have decided to document the Pursuit of my Personal Best.